What do you have?!

You know those classic "mom phrases"? The ones that you heard your mom say when you were a kid and you would roll your eyes and think "that is SO mom". Well, I have found my phrase.

All too often my boys act like little girls. There is only so much a woman can take before she has to give her sons a gentle reminder that they are sons and not daughters!

One particular day, Dominic would NOT STOP his whining. Any little thing would trigger a FOUNTAIN of tears. Oatmeal instead of cheerios? TEARS. Tripping over his own two feet? TEARS. The blue matchbox car went missing? TEARS! The final straw (and the beginning of my most infamous "mom-phrase") was when Angelo and Dominic were wrestling around and Angelo pinned Dominic to the floor (even though Dominic is older AND bigger). Dominic BURSTS into tears. SNAP! Time for that gentle reminder!

"DOMINIC!"
"Whhhhaaaaaat Mooooooommy?!?!"
"What do you have? HUH!? What is it!? Two balls or a who-ha?!"

Dominic had been taken off guard. Unsure whether the question was rhetorical or not, he answers, just in case "Two balls"

And I look him in his no longer tear filled eyes and say "Then act like it"


Ever since that memorable day, there have been MANY times where my BOYS have acted as though they were sportin a who-ha instead of their "two balls"... and you better bet your butt that I, being the supportive mother that i am, have been there to dry their tears and remind them to check between their legs.

Gum is NOT a headband!

A little while back, I stood in my kitchen getting dinner prepped as I do everyday. Dominic (my 5 year old) and Angelo (my 4 year old) ask me in the SWEETEST lil voices "Mommy... may we PLEEEEEASE have some gum if we promise not to swallow it?"

As I look down from my salmon fillets to those four hazel puppy-dog eyes, my heart begins to melt. What is the harm in letting my two older kids enjoy the fabulousness of childhood and gum!? Their little brother and sister are napping... what could POSSIBLY go wrong!? "Sure buddies! Here..." I place a piece of Extra watermelon gum in their eager little hands and add "DON'T swallow it!". They give my legs a hug of thanks and scurry into the basement playroom.

As I turn my attention back to the salmon, I sigh a happy sigh... "what good lil guys" I think... or shall i say THOUGHT! 20 minutes later, Dominic comes clopping up the stairs laughing HYSTERICLY! (this CAN'T be good) Angelo follows behind the laughing Dom with a look of pride upon his face...

"LOOK!" he says...

SON OF A!!!!!! And before I knew it, it heard it coming out of my mouth... "ANGELO! GUM IS NOT A HEADBAND!"

Luckily we keep our boys hair military short so it didn't screw up his haircut... Unfortunately he had JUST gotten a haircut so i had to use a baby comb to yank the gum out... way to go Angelo... way to go.